It's Not Good to Live Alone in Oklahoma

It's not good to live alone in Oklahoma because of the ticks. I don't have scientific statistics to prove it but my guess is that in this part of the country they outnumber humans a million to one.  The wretched little beasts evoke revulsion and disgust when they succeed in their efforts to latch on to our bodies.  It's necessary to have someone standing by to assist you  because of the bug's tendency to search out a location on our body that we can neither see nor reach. If you live alone and get that familiar itch between your shoulder blades you may be able to align some mirrors to enable you to confirm that it is indeed one of the nasty little arachnids, but how will you remove it?  I suppose you could have a doctor remove each tick that finds its way to your skin, but that would be expensive over the long-haul, and you just can't bother the mail man with something like that. No, we all need someone that we are on intimate terms with, someone who might even look forward to the job with great anticipation.  After all, didn't Brad Paisley sing "I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers, and I'd like to check you for ticks" ?  Yes, checking each other for ticks can often develop into a rather pleasant enterprise.