list of things to do upon retirement

1. play with grandkids
2. sit on the porch and watch the cars go by
3. learn to play the piano
4. learn to play the saxophone
5. paint landscapes and still life
6. grow a vegetable garden
7. landscape the yard
8. remodel (only to the extent that it remains fun)
9. write short stories
10. travel
11. wander aimlessly along Peacheater Creek
12. think
13. contemplate my navel (just checking to see if you'd read down this far)

I've known people who retired and before you know it they're working again. They told me they couldn't stand the boredom; just needed something to do. I've balked against the harness of work for too long. Once I retire and overcome the sadness of years of subordinating all that matters to all that doesn't, I'm going to revel in idleness as long as it satisfies. For those of you who scoff at this idea I say: Don't underestimate my capacity for sloth!