Dylan Thomas wrote the poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night for his father who was strong and fierce in his youth, but had become weak and gentle in old age.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
This has always been one of my favorite poems. I always thought I would put up a fight against the oncoming frailty of old age and that I would, at the last, go down with both barrels blazing. But I was much younger then. Now that I have arrived at that time in life where I no longer have to work for a living and my strength and energy are gradually fading, I can see the wisdom of going "gentle into that good night". Not that death is knocking on my door, but I can see it in the distance from my back porch.
I know that in our culture, men are reluctant to give up the image of the aggressive and masculine Alpha male, but, fierce and militant old men don't make good grand fathers. As elders of the tribe older men need to be strong, yet gentle pillars for their grand kids to lean on. We are the story tellers, the joke tellers, and the ones that can be depended upon to set aside our dignity for any silliness that will bring a smile to a toddler.
So, as time goes by, I'm going to allow myself to go gentle in the area of approachability, vulnerability, and kindness, while maintaining my strength to act as a family protector, advisor and loyal friend. And when it comes time for me to leave the planet, I'll simply slip out the back door unnoticed.
5 comments:
You may go gently, but you won't be able to slip through that door unnoticed.
Nice post, Wally. That's one of my favorite poems, too. Love your ruminations on the role of tribal elders -- wise and wonderful words.
- Morgan
PS: Love the new header!
Morgan's Musings
Lucy - thanks
Morgan - Actually, I was inspired by your header, so I caught the sun going down and took this picture in my back yard.
You can't even slip through my back door unnoticed! Kelly
The calmer, gentler older man is a biological fact, or so I've read. Seems that as testosterone levels begin to wane with passing years, we men come more under the influence of the estrogen we also have.
The effect is supposedly the reverse for women who, as estrogen levels drop, come more under the influence of the testosterone they also have.
If my grandmothers, my mother, and now (sometimes) my wife are a sufficient sampling, I'd say the analysis holds!
Pete Sampson
CaregivingBlog.com
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